Bitz 'N' Blogs with CJ Cross

Hi! My name is Ceej. I like to write stuff!

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  • A Holiday Update

    *Blinks*

    Hello Tuesday…. Where did you come from? You kinda snuck up on us real quick…

    To be honest, this update should’ve been written as per my normal Sunday blogging schedule – but both Hubby and I ( My husband more so than myself TBH) have been running around like blue-ass flies trying to get all the things we couldn’t get done due to having to work. So far, we’re about 3/4 through our to do list.

    We’re also on the 2nd week of our Holidays and today ( well, this afternoon anyway) Hubby is going to get an eye test and I am off to get my hair done… and provided I get home from the HairDressers in time – I will also have my PT session at 3:30pm this afternoon.

    Another thing that’s occurred is that I now have seem to have developed a rather nasty case of Chilblains. Thankfully, I was able to get in an see my GP last Friday and get a script for some cream to put on it. I am also grateful to my Husband who went out yesterday to get it for me.

    For those who are not aware as to what Chilblains are – see below :https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/chilblains

    So yes, not great. Apparently, a lot of folks I know had them as children but like all things with yours truly, I never experienced these things as a child so I get the displeasure of dealing with it now as an Adult… And I gotta say.. It’s not fun. That said, the cream I have works a treat and it’s doing the job quite nicely.

    In other news, We celebrated our 17 year Wedding Anniversary over the weekend. It was a low key affair with a lovely dinner and a bottle of wine while watching Futurama from the beginning ( It’s been a long time and neither of us can remember much of it) I treated myself to a Foot Massager from Amazon while Hubby purchased a new guitar. His first one in quite a while and I have to say – it’s really rather lovely.

    Oh! We scored a Green Waste bin from the local Council – so that’s another thing we can scratch off the to do list. Normally, it wouldn’t be an issue but the last time we asked our neighbour if we could use her Green Waste bin – she allowed it – only to become rather petty shortly thereafter and keep it locked in her garage for several weeks afterwards – preventing Hubby from being able to complete the gardening that he needed to do. Now with one of our own.. we’re all set to go! *

    Tomorrow Miss Floof is getting clipped and groomed. Thanks to a local community site on FaceBook ( Meta if you’re one of them) I managed to find someone who was willing to take our baby girl on. She’s quite knotty and tangled – She loathes being brushed- so we’ve no choice but to do it this way. We’re hoping to be able to get her used to brushing after this – as it will make both her life and ours ( and that of our cleaners) much easier!

    Hay fever seems to be the bane of my existence this year with it making a triumphant return after an almost 8 year absence. Those who know me know I despise sneezing ( it’s the most grotesque of all the Human bodily functions in my opinion) so the very fact that I am now dealing with seasonal bullshit on top of everything else is complete and utter bollocks!

    On that note, boys and girls I shall end this blog as I feel another coffee and some breakfast coming on

    Thanks for reading

    Ceej

    *As a rule there is one Green Waste bin between two in the unit complex we live in. Everyone else understands this bar our neighbour at #8

  • The Midweek Catch Up Blog

    Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlefolk of internet land. As promised, this is your Midweek catch up blog.

    I don’t generally write blogs during the week as I am working however, my Husband and I are taking some time off from work to tie up some loose ends and do the things that we’ve had to put off doing for months – consequently, we’ve spent the last few days doing just that.

    So, where were we? Oh yes, I know. My last blog covered what was one of the longest weeks of my life. If you would like to know why ( because of course you do!) you can do so here:

    The Week That Felt Like a Year
    My latest blog about the longest week in my life .

    To start with, that blog pretty much ended up with me watching the livestream of my Grandfathers Funeral. He was 93 years of age when he passed and by all accounts had a wonderful life with his Wife of 63 years, Pat and her family. From the bits that I could piece together, my Poppy met Pat when they were living in the same area in Victoria when he was 31. ( This tells me he met and married my Grandmother, June when he was in his 20’s. I figured all was not well between them when my Mother was born and they divorced shortly thereafter)

    I saw my Mother and Sisters in attendance as well as various members of Pats family and friends – Most of whom I’d never met.

    Still, it was a lovely service and I shall forever remember my Pop as a kind man with an awesome sense of humour and a big smile!

    From there it was just the countdown to two weeks away from work. I continued following up on all things NDIS ( At time of writing this blog, I am STILL waiting for one more piece of evidence to be submitted for my NDIS plan – Review of a review. I had an in depth conversation with my Support Coordinator G about where we’re at with it.)

    On the plus side, I was finally able to order my new shoes from Dr Comfort! (Yay!) and the long awaited quote for the Day Chair came in – Ironically, it now needs to be put on hold as Hubby and I are currently exploring other options on how to get one elsewhere.

    As well as this, I have arranged to have a catch up with my new OT, Alana. She will be picking up where the lovely Triza left off – as she has since moved on to greener pastures in the pursuit of bigger and better things.

    Tomorrow I have my visit with my Remedial Masseuse and then it’s off to my Fathers for a morning cuppa.

    Friday I find out the results of the bloodests I had on Monday and speak to my GP regarding all the forms I need her to fill in 😀

    I am unsure whether I will be able to post another blog on Sunday – as it’s my 17 year Wedding anniversary and I believe Hubby and I have plans… So, there may be another midweek blog next week as well!

    Till then, thanks for reading,

    Ceej

  • When Sunday is Father’s Day!

    Good morning, everyone

    There will be no blog today – due to the fact it is Father’s Day here in Australia

    Go spend time with your Dad! He’s worth it!

    For those who are missing their Father – please know that I understand how difficult today must be for you and you’re all in my thoughts.

    Ceej

  • The Week That Felt Like a Year

    I honestly don’t know how to start this blog .. other than by saying it has been one of the longest and most difficult weeks of my life

    It’s been one of those weeks where I find myself wondering what it was I’ve done that was so God awful wrong that life felt like it needed to kick me in the teeth multiple times before throwing me head first into a bin and telling me to make sure I took myself out.

    Pretty much, yep

    At the time of writing this blog, I am all over the shop as far as the NDIS is concerned. In short, I have all this amazing funding – but no way of being able to spend it (How it NEEDS to be spent)

    Allow me to explain.

    I have been on the NDIS for approximately 15 months. In that time I have had more ups and downs than a Yo- yo and it’s not only left me exhausted to the point of delirium – but more confused than when I started and at a complete loss how some people are

    A) Able to make their skin stay on and

    B) Remain actively employed.

    When I first applied to be a NDIS Participant (as we’re known) I was accepted due to the fact my Allied Health Providers had given sufficient evidence that proved they were, in fact, treating me for my Cerebral Palsy.

    Cool beans. Excellent. So, I have my Exercise Physiologist, my Chiropractor, my Remedial Masseuse and my Podiatrist all covered by the NDIS. Hooray!

    Over the next few months we bring in an Occupational Therapist, A Physiotherapist and a Psychologist and everyone is all going about their business and getting paid all while doing their bit to improve my mobility, my mental health and my overall well being.

    (For most of my time on the NDIS I’ve been fighting for a Change of Situation- which means my current plan needs to be looked at, reassessed and a decision needs to be made as to whether or not an increase in funding is required. At time of writing this blog -I have been granted extra funding – we just need to remember that)

    So, here’s where things stand.

    In my new plan I have funding allocated for my Occupational Therapist, my Physiotherapist and some new dang-fangled individual called a ” Therapy Assistant” and between the three of them – they are supposed to better improve my life. Meanwhile, my Chiropractor, my Remedial Masseuse, my Exercise Physiologist, my Psychologist and my Podiatrist have all been given the ass with the NDIS claiming “There is no evidence to suggest that these services have helped prevent the deterioration of the Participants current condition”

    In saying that, InstaCare – the NDIS provider who pay all my invoices for me – claim that all my Allied Health providers are there and accounted for and can, as per normal, submit invoices for payment and, according to them.. I have enough funding over the next two years to cover those costs.

    Consequently, seeing as everything is as clear as mud at this point – it’s now pushed through what’s called an S100 (a review of a review) which means more letters of support, which means more documentation ( that may or may not be read) which means more waiting around while things are discussed, debated and determined which means I am yet again dicked around by a Government department who couldn’t organise a pissup in a brewry.

    Thankfully, I have lodged a formal complaint with NDIS Minister the Hon Bill Shorten MP – or his office anyway- and they have informed me they intend to respond to my concerns no later than Tuesday this week.

    I have no idea how long any of this is going to take- but it’s gonna be a long and bumpy road to get shit sorted out.

    In other news, yesterday I got to go out with my Support Worker ‘Miss M’ and she took me to get some desperately needed underthings. Much to my delight,I found some that were brightly coloured and ridiculously comfortable! (Not to mention reasonably priced to boot. So yay that!) Shout out to the lovely staff at Femmeline in Main St Croydon for their helpful staff – especially since I was in a wheelchair- and amazing expertise in helping me find the most perfect fit! It was also while there that I found out that there are 28 Cafes in Croydon and ‘Miss M’ and I decided to visit one called “The Famished Wolf” for a bite to eat. ( Side note: Between leaving The Famished Wolf and getting back to my house we counted 9 Cafes in Main St. We’ve decided we’ll go back sometime soon and find the rest!)

    I was having quite a good day until late yesterday afternoon when I received a message from my Sister telling me that our Grandfather (on my Mothers side) had passed away earlier in the week. Last Tuesday in fact. The only reason anyone in our family found out was due to the fact a distant relation contacted my Mother to pass on condolences.

    We have since found out my Grandfather had not been well for quite some time – Throat Cancer – and a few weeks prior to his passing he had also had a fall and fractured his hip. Our family was not made aware of any of this, during this time, and I must confess to being a little upset about it. *

    I’m sure His family had their reasons but still, when something like this happens you would think they would at least reach out personally and inform us themselves.

    At this point we have not been made aware of any funeral details so we can do is wait.

    I guess we’ll see what the week brings eh?

    Ceej

    *For those playing at home my Grandfather was Married twice. Once to my Grandmother (Dec) and then to Nanna P . Lovely woman I thought. **

    ** Full name not given for reasons

  • The update about the update that never happened …

    Ladies and Gentleman,

    Twice now I have failed to write a blog.

    On Thursday I was to wiped out from my two appointments and Sunday I lay down for a nap and overslept

    Add this I have been dealing with quite a nasty bout of sciatica, a MONSTER Aunty Flo (now since finished) and life kicking me in the metaphorical balls….. I just haven’t had the spoons to write anything worthy of note

    So, please bare with me as I struggle to get through the obstacles thrown at me this week and I promise I will get back to writing my blogs as soon as I’m able

    Thanks for your patience

    Ceej

  • Postponed

    Hello everyone!

    Due to the body not cooperating – This week’s blog has been postponed until Thursday.

    I expect to have it uploaded by Thursday afternoon at the absolute latest

    Thank you for your patience

    Ceej

    PS: To make up for the fact there is no blog today – please enjoy the funny meme I chose for this week’s header!

  • The One Where I Lost All Faith

    No, this isn’t a post about the Great Beardy Sky man – so back away with your precious bibles and sit down.

    Nor is it an Outlander reference (IYKYK) because frankly I’ve dealt with enough emotional turmoil this week and I have no desire to self inflict anymore on myself right now. (Look at me taking the advice of my Therapist and not punishing myself! Whoo- Hoo! Go me – Oh.. wait.. No …wrong kind’ve … You know what? Never mind. Don’t mind me… I’m FINE!)

    Despite the image header chosen for this blog ( Why do I do this to myself – JHRC) this week’s blog title stems from the fact that this week was a week I lost faith in not only the system ( The NDIS) but also people in general.

    To begin with, on Thursday Aug 3rd 2023 I had my Change in Situation meeting via the NDIS. For those that are not aware, a Change in Situation occurs when someone’s NDIS funding has either run out early or is deemed inadequate for the person’s needs. Evidence needs to be provided of course and if successful- the application is renewed and funding is increased. That is the short version . And, in a perfect world, the short version would be all it would take to get you over the line.

    Unfortunately, this is the NDIS and naturally if you’re not prepared to jump through hoops while trying to make sense of something that have been lost, found, copied, faxed to a completely different office, left sitting on a desk for three months before being buried outside, forgotten about, remembered again only to be made triplicate and then those triplicates duplicated for security reasons before being handed to you to sign off on with a BIC pen that ran out of ink 2 weeks before your scheduled appointment.

    Okay .. so I may have exaggerated that slightly but given that this is my second Change In Situation application that took seven months to complete and submit- (even the submission was not without its complications) it’s closer to the truth than anyone would care to admit.

    Anyway, my Support Coordinator G and the her Manager J joined the NDIS representative and I for the meeting at the required time ( G in person J via TEAMS) and off we went.

    The next 3 hours were excruciating to say the least. I swear as I sit here and write this – I have never heard someone speak so much unnecessary gibberish in all my life! As the meeting wore on – I could honestly feel my brain packing a suitcase and telling me that I was entirely on my own as it DOES NOT get paid enough to put up with that type of shit! (And honestly, if it left at any point during those three hours – I would’ve given it a standing ovation)

    By the time all was said and done – Myself, G and J felt we’d been pulled through the ringer and the three of us spent the next hour trying to figure out what the heckin’ heck just happened and what the next steps were moving forward. (Hint: We still don’t know and there’s still another 14 days to wait. With that and a provider of mine with two unpaid invoices outstanding due to my funding allocation being exhausted – the next 14 days are gearing up to be a whole lot of fun indeed)

    If you asked me just a few days ago what I had hoped to achieve with that Change in Situation I would’ve told you the following:

    • Access to the community via a broader range of activities ( Over time. Small steps required given that I’ve spent the better part of 3.5 years at home unable to get out without help)
    • Respite – The ability to be able to go away on holiday and enjoy myself with friends. ( I’ve not done this in almost the same amount of time)
    • More help via Support Workers
    • Eleanor Wheelie! (My long awaited electric wheelchair)
    • Proper time frames for when things were going to be happening/taking place

    Instead, what I got was :

    • A whole lot of gibberish that made no sense
    • The feeling that the NDIS representative had no clue what they were talking about
    • The moment I heard the rep say the words ” Oh wow… I’m just .. trying to ..Imagine your life” I knew the entire conversation was a lost cause and that G and J would have to go in and fight harder for what it was I wanted.
    • Being told a whole bunch of things weren’t going to be requested because the NDIS delegate wasn’t going to approve them due to ” trying to find the best value for money”
    • Being made to feel like I was being ignored and overlooked
    • No idea about the when/ where/ how and why of anything

    That night I fell into a funk and I haven’t really come out of it . I’ve learned not to get my hopes up. I’ve learned that you cannot rely on a system that was designed to help those of us with lifelong disabilities ( Thanks a lot Liberal Government) and that just makes me really sad.

    If I’m honest, at this point in time, I expect my funding to be cut to even less than it was the first time around and the whole things just turning to shit . I’ll keep everyone posted with updates as things progress…

    But for now .. I wait.

    In other, less stressful news (I hope) I have taken a mini Social Media hiatus for the month of August. The last time I did this was a few years ago and I found it very beneficial for my mental health. I have deleted TikTok, Tumblr, Facebook and Twitter (X) because, with the exception of TikTok which was proving a distraction than anything else…. The other platforms were making me angry. For a number of reasons ( A majority of which have to do with the Outlander Fandom – and while I will not be discussing specific situations today – let’s just say I am better off not having access to those platforms at the moment. For everyone’s sake.. Not just my own.) and so, taking a well deserved break is just what I need to refocus and recharge the batteries.

    At the beginning of this blog I said it’d been a week where I’d lost my faith in people but that to is also Outlander Fandom related BUT… given that it’s almost 3:30pm on a Sunday afternoon … I am going to put that off till next time. You’ll want to pull up a pew for that one, I assure you!

    Thanks for reading

    Have a great weekend

    Ceej

  • The One Where I Stole a Mastodon Post

    And honestly… Credit to the author .

    I saw this and wanted to post it

    So, to the author -thank you

    I love the term “toxic positivity” because it puts a name to something I’ve struggled with my whole life. North American culture ABSOLUTELY has a problem with this.

    I have met so few people who actually know how to listen to and comfort someone experiencing pain, loss, grief, etc. We aren’t taught how to do this. We just want the sadness to go away.

    Telling someone everything is okay when you know it’s not, for them, is isolating. It’s not just bad for the person who is experiencing pain. It’s bad for the listener, too.

    You can’t have deep, genuine, compassionate relationships with someone if you can’t sit in their sadness with them. Real relationships need sharing. Vulnerability is critical to forming something meaningful. You don’t get that by pretending everything is always fine.

  • The Week Where The Stuff Happened

    It’s been rather interesting week in Chateau de Cross .

    To begin with, it’s another week where we don’t owe any money and we’re squared away.

    I have to say – it’s an odd feeling. Not having old man debt over your head. Not having to sit down every week to make sure every penny is accounted for. To try not to overspend “Just In Case” .. It’s really rather freeing. That said, we live in a world where waiting for the other shoe to drop is a thing … So, as wonderful as it is .. I prefer not to count my chickens before they hatch.. If you know what I mean.

    Over the course of the week I have been trialing a different type of desk chair for my home office . It was given to me to trial via my Occupational Therapist. It’s OK. No lumbar support though -which I found odd. No neck or shoulder support either. Found it comfortable to sit in .. just everything else was off kilter a bit. couldn’t move the seat further out from its starting position and that was a real turn off for me.

    Never mind.. Back to the drawing board.

    Speaking of trailing things and occupational therapists .. I have a bit of NDIS news!

    My NDIS Change of Situation got approved! I have the planning meeting for it on Thursday.

    It took a long time. A very long time. But it finally got over the line and green lit. I ‘m very happy to be honest and I’m keen to know how much has been approved where it’s been allocated. Hopefully this means things can start to improve from here on out. It also means I’m one step closer to getting Eleanor Wheelie and I cannot wait for that.

    It’s also been a week where I’ve had a bit of homework from my Psychologist. Currently, I/we are exploring my inability to accept that I am allowed to have emotions. ( There’s more to it than that, but since this is hitting on personal territory -I’d rather not go to deep at the moment) and that it’s OK not to be OK. I am having to learning that it’s OK to be angry or upset or worried or happy or whatever the case may be and not have to justify anything or over think anything. It’s all new to me and on my psychologists advice I have spent the last week just letting my emotions happen.

    For instance, on Monday I was feeling particularly upset as it had been a month since I was blocked on Twitter the male lead of a certain TV show. Despite it having been a month and having been told all the things in order to remove the rose coloured glasses so I may (finally) see the forest for the trees – in that particular moment I felt sad and wanted to express it. So, I did what any heartbroken fan would do – and took it to Twitter… erm.. X .. I mean .. .Oh whatever, doesn’t matter.. to express my sorrows.

    What I learnt from that is – “Don’t go to Twitter (X) when you’re miserable. You’ll be made to feel suicidal by the time you’re done reading 99% of the replies you get”

    It was then I realised just how exhausting the Fandom space is. It was the moment I realised I didn’t want to be part of it anymore. It doesn’t matter how much good you may do (or think you do) ..at the end of the day .. it’s a “Supposedly positive place” that’s overshadowed by faceless, toxic, loudmouth, gaslighting, manipulative narcissistic killjoys who would rather metaphorically set you on fire than offer a single moment of kindness, empathy or understanding towards you or whatever it is you’re feeling – unless that feeling is to swoon or thirst .. or use whatever means necessary to get attention – In which case everyone is your Bestie for life.. but if you’re not feeling any of that on any particular day ending in Y .. then you’re on your own.

    Will I still watch the show? Yes. Will I still read book 10? ( Provided it’s written in my life time) Yes. But outside of that, I’m done.

    In other more interesting news : YESTERDAY I WENT SHOPPING!!! I went out into the real world and I peopled!

    My Husband, my Support Worker Miss B and myself all went to Chirnside Park Shopping Centre and I went and bought some nice plain T-shirts and a top, some notebooks. After we left there, it was off to catch up with our friend for some homemade woodfired pizza – which was great!

    Today has been a quiet Sunday – I’ve spent it rolling my eyes at social Media, watching the latest Outlander episode and writing this blog

    If you’ve made it this far- Thank you for reading . We’ll see what stuff happens next week, eh?

    Have a great week

    Ceej

  • The One Where I’m Hungry … But Needed To Say a Few Words First

    So, Twitter has become X

    At least on my Desktop. My phone app remains untouched for now but geeze the limitations are making it harder and harder to use

    Limits on DM’s

    How many Tweets you send

    Some even getting Suspended

    Hmmmmmm.. Good luck E-Lemon … This little venture of yours is going to sink

    Now, I need food……

    Where did I put my sandwich….