Bitz 'N' Blogs with CJ Cross

You know, I’m not sure why I’m writing this blog. Is it because I need something to do with my time? Is it because I feel I have something to say? Perhaps a bit of both?

Today, in my state is the King’s Birthday holiday. I’d normally be working today but, given that, that’s not happening today.. Here I am.

Currently, we are 8 days into June. For a large majority of Australia – this means it’s winter. For other places like The Northern Territory and a large majority of Queensland, it means you freeze your bits off in the morning but once the frost in your fingertips thaws out – you’re out living your best life while getting the type of suntan that most of you never asked for.

Observations about the weather aside, I think I am writing this blog because I feel lost.

Not lost like I don’t know where I am.. more like I just don’t know what I’m going to do next.

Over the last seven years, I have been up to my neck (and occasionally in up over my head) in the world of Outlander. The books, the TV show, the fandom experience – both positive and negative – online and that one time for the one time where there was an Australian Outlander convention held where I was fortunate enough to meet some online friends in real life.

I promised myself that when Outlander ended – it’d be my last foray into the fandom space. That I’d hand in my fangirl card, hang up my fandom hat and walk away knowing that I at least got the opportunity to share an experience unlike any I’d ever experienced before and be happy with that.

And honestly? Despite everything? I think I am.

What I’m left with now is … what do I do with my life from here?

Next year I turn 50 (and in accordance with my family history I start my journey into the world of Perimenopause and beyond) and so far they only thing I’ve learnt is that after 50 a woman starts losing muscle mass so exercise is key.

At present, I am debating whether I am able to join a gym. I have already lost 16.1Kgs in the last year and a half and my upper body strength is already pretty good, but, my lower body, in particular my legs, definitely need some work.

I’m looking at continuing my blog and my writing. While I promise to update as much as I can.. I am currently in the process of looking to buy a new Mac. My current one almost 10 years old and while it’s still hanging in there, it doesn’t quite have the speeds I’m after anymore. I’m currently looking at upgrading my desktop and will hopefully have a new Mac by September this year. Will keep you updated on my progress.

In the meantime, I beg you to bare with me as most of the time it takes more than 20 minutes for my current machine to do/load anything and more often than not by the time it’s done loading, I simply cannot be bothered anymore and have moved on to something else.

I would really love to meet new people but the truth is, given that I’ve been a shut in for so long, I’ve not the foggiest idea on how to people anymore and the mere thought of peopling again kind of overwhelms me.

My only constant companions are my Husband, my Father and my Support Workers and even then the time I spend with them is limited due to how our lives are. I do have my kittens but by and large they either see me as a snack source or a comfy place on which to sleep.

So yes. I am feeling a little lost a present. Not really sure which direction I’m going to go in.

I guess I’ll take it one step at a time and see where I end up

Thanks for reading

Ceej