Support Workers – Bitz 'N' Blogs with CJ Cross

Respite Day 2. HUBLANDER 2024 – Part 1.

***A/N This part of my blog is HUGE so I have decided to split it in to two parts. Part one will be posted today – Part 2 will be posted later on in the week. **

Our day began with both of our alarms going off at the ungodly hour of 5am . After a rather restless night of sleep due to the noisy aircon ( It was also permanently set on “Antarctica” mode it was that bloody cold!) and the random noises of other guests at 3am .. we ( My Support Worker Miss C and I) were up and began preparing for the day.

As a Platinum ticket holder, we had to be there early. ( And by early I mean 7.30am) as the VIP Platinum panel was to kick off at 8am sharp.

So, after we showered, dressed, packed our lunches, bottles of water and ate breakfast – we bundled Eleanor Whillie into the back of the car and set off to Port Melbourne to a venue called The Timber Yard for a day of fun, friends and fangirling (Well, I did. Miss C was like my cool offsider in her John Lennon-esk type sunglasses)

The Timber Yard is located in Port Melbourne – just 15 minutes from Melbourne CBD. It’s easily accessible by car and tram ( although that means an extra 5 minute walk from the tram stop) and, ironically, about a block away from a Restaurant called ‘Claire’s Castle’ ( which considering what was happening there on the day – I found hilariously funny!)

If you wish to check out The Timber Yard, you can do so here: https://thetimberyard.com.au/

We arrived at 7.20am. which meant there was still ample parking to be had. That said, the line for entry into the event was already snaking its way down the block and around the corner by the time we’d made our way to the entrance and joined the others in line.

It’s at this point dear Reader, that I’d like to point out that that the day before there had been another Convention – Hublander Sydney 2024.

That event spanned 2 days being the Friday night and the Saturday and when I tell you there were some bleary eyed travellers amongst the die hard fans there at the Timber Yard on Sunday morning, you’d be hard pressed to believe otherwise. Thankfully, the takeaway coffee was on hand and piping hot .. making all those red -eye travelers thankful for the pick-me-up.

Whilst waiting in line I met up with my friends Ziggy, Jo and Vanessa. Jo had bought everyone “Hublander Mugs” as a gift for all of us which was lovely. I also met Sandra and Leslie -Fellow fans and MPC Peakers. We’d been talking online for a long time so it was lovely to finally meet them in person.

And, just because this is my Blog and I can – Here is a picture of the Hublander Mug from Jo 😀

Anyway….

Not only did Jo bring us all Hublander Mugs to celebrate Australia’s first ever official Outlander convention, she also blessed us with her PURPLE SLIPPERS! (IYKYK and if you don’t … Well, I’m sorry … That’s classified LOL ) .. but more about those later on!

Ziggy decided to rock a rainbow kilt for the occasion and she looked amazing. She also bought a special gift for me to give to Sam – which I was most excited about. Her Brother made it especially for me and well may I say it looked a million quid!

(Shout Out to Leatherman Jack on You Tube! He makes wonderful handcrafted leather goods. Check out his channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@LeathermanJack )

She had attended the Sydney event along with the others but despite being desperately tired, she was just as excited as I was.. not only because we’d be spending the day together but because it was the first time we’d seen each other in person since 2013 – when we both attended the Doug Anthony All Star reunion at the Melbourne Town Hall as part of that years Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

My outfit for the day was coordinated to match Eleanor’s colour scheme – A black shirt with light pink pants. Eleanor is black with pink side panels in the arms. So we matched perfectly!

As the line to enter the venue slowly began to move, I found myself under a tree .. and no sooner had I stopped there I was shat on by a bird!

Most people consider this a sign of good luck. In the Outlander fandom however, it is common knowledge that everywhere Sam Heughan goes – he is almost always shat on by a bird!

For those that know me ( and my history in this fandom) the fact that I was shat on by a bird, just moments before I was due to meet the Man in person – was no great surprise to anyone. That said, just about everyone rushed to clean me up which was hilarious and, after some Motherly magic ( You know who you are :P) any evidence that I’d been shat on by a bird had all but disappeared.

The panels were running late – Due to technical issues, the Cast running late and a mad dash to reorganise David Berry’s no show at the event as he had unfortunately come down with Covid, just prior to the Sydney event and could not attend the Sydney Hublander – let alone travel to Melbourne for his appearance at the Timber Yard – but the Platinum ticket holders and VIP’s were finally allowed to enter the building somewhere around 8.30am. Myself, Jo and my Support Worker Miss C had tickets down the very front in row A.

It’s fair to say that when you attend a convention, you’re bound to bump into all sorts of people. So, imagine my surprise when who should I see running the doors and keeping everything in an orderly, spit-spot and Bristol fashion – but my friends Rod and Sarah! I hadn’t seen them in years – Since we were part of a Pop Culture mash up show for the 2013 Melbourne International Comedy Festival / 2014 Melbourne Fringe Festival ( I am sensing a theme here somehow) It was in that moment I knew I was going to be OK. The convention was my first big “dose of peopling ” since before the Pandemic and truth be told – I wasn’t sure how well the day was going to pan out. Seeing Rod and Sarah gave me a sense of assurance and given there was about 800+ people in attendance on the day .. I was grateful for them being there.

We went inside and found our seats easy enough. The first panel was Sam and Duncan. That was the special VIP / Platinum panel for the day.

The panel was due to go for about an hour. With the first 5 minutes allowing the audience to take photos of the guests on the stage.

The MC was a lovely lady ( whose name escapes me at the moment) and she gave us a run down of the day and what to expect.

As the doors closed and the panel started .. I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.

Thanks for reading,

Ceej

In The (My) Interest of Being Disabled.

(Authors Note: Though I am a 46 year old Disabled person- I am not expert on anything. I do not have a degree or fancy letters next to my name. I simply aim to look at my situation (specifically) with the humor intended.

That said, not one Disabled person is the same. We are all different and each one of us has needs that must be met and it sucks balls that in the year 2023 (almost 2024) we’re all still here fighting for our right to be seen and heard. To be given basic access to day to day life. I hope one day that changes. I truly do. But for now I hope you’ll enjoy this blog and laugh along with me)

This morning I woke up. Like every morning I hurt all over. My hurt seemed to be amplified . Radiating like some kind of modern day pain beacon. Come to think of it – if my pain becon made a noise – it would probably be ” Ow! Ow! Fuck! Ow! Ow! Fuck” but I digress …

After grabbing hold of Penelope for support ( And before you lot get some idea – please get your mind out of the gutter! There is no Horizontal Blanky Dance afoot in my abode! Not for lack of wanting to mind! It’s simply due to the fact that my body is no longer able to perform accordingly *ahem* due to things hurting way to much) Penelope is my trusty bed pole that I use to help me turn over onto my side while in bed and, to help me sit up and get the legs out and the feet on to the floor in the mornings.

Next, I grab Bert and Ernie . Burt and Ernie ( called so because they’re always together) my trusty el cheapo ‘got em from the Chemist’ crutches that I’ve had since Moby Dick was a tadpole ( My Father’s expression – Not mine. Although, Moby Dick was written in 1851.. which was inspired by a whale who died in 1838 -Which presumably was a Beluga Whale, which according to Google can live upto 50 years … means that technically speaking- and it’s one HECK of a stretch- Moby dick was legitimately a tadpole in the year 1788)

Anyway…

I use Burt and Ernie to help me go to the toilet. Depending on how difficult things are, Hubby may need to help me. I find that I am at my stiffest in the morning – So does my Husband funnily enough ( No… Not like that! Do we remember what I said about gutters?) and the two of us struggle to get me sorted before things get to the point of no return.

As a rule Bert and Ernie are my main mobility aids to help me get around the house. I have Henry Rollins in reserve ( another pair of rather expensive, sleek, black , slimline, lightweight crutches) – but they’re no good when I need to open a door or turn a light switch on and off – as they have no cuff around the arm for support.

I also have a sparkly blue walking stick that I’ve named ‘ The Doctor’ but I’ve not been able to use him for quite a few years. Now that i think about it – I’ve not used him since the very beginning of 2020. I hope to be able to use him again one day. He was always fun. He took over after Edna ( my pink walking stick) was retired after many years of use.

(There’s also ‘Bernard- Brown McBlack’ my four pronged walking aid – but we never really gelled or got on so he just kinda sits in a corner gathering dust.)

Thankfully I am not going anywhere today – but when I do I either take my red manual Wheelchair ( Bernard Barge-Ass) or Eleanor Wheelie

One of the things I have noticed since becoming reliant on mobility aids ( and people) for support is the way society tends to treat you. You’re either invisible (not seen) talked at or over ( not heard) and it infuriates me when people assume I’m stupid because I’m sitting in a wheelchair. ( I plan to write a whole other blog on that subject soon. You have been warned)

Whenever I do go out – I’m either with my Support Worker ( who can fit me, my Wheelchair and crutches in their car) or I require a Maxi Taxi ( shout out to Roy at 13cabs) to go somewhere. I am also the proud owner of a Taxi Card and a Companion Card – which makes travelling a hell of a lot easier.

Currently, it’s 11:33am . Hubby has gone out to do the weekly grocery shop (I’ve tagged along a few times in Eleanor. So far I’ve not crashed into anything LOL) When he gets home he’ll make us both lunch. After which he’ll have to help me shower.

Relax folks! It’s not as kinky as you think. ( Hello? Gutter HAHA) I know that when we Married we spoke our vows ” In sickness and in health” ” For better or worse” Yadda Yadda Yadda – but no where in there did it state that “When your Wife gets to her mid 40s she’ll be permanently disabled and you’ll be stuck washing her Foo-Foo McGoo for all eternity!” and honestly, the Man needs some kind of reward for doing it. (THE FOO-FOO- McGOO Award? Anyone?)

Not many Men would wash their wives Foo-Foo-McGoo I’d wager. He is a wonderful help to me, (despite his constant complaints to Management that his role in things was to remove me of my clothes …Anyway, never mind! The way we do our laundry is none your business! LOL!) so in that respect, I’m very lucky.

Thankfully, thanks to my new NDIS plan, which comes into effect in January next year – I’ll have Support Workers in to take over helping me shower – so that’ll be one less thing he’ll have to do – which will hopefully mean we’ll no longer have to get up at 4am every day and get some extra sleep!

We’ve got a quiet day planned ( at least in theory anyway Most of the time my Husband is running around like a blue arsed fly getting all the things done.) Tonight we’ll have dinner, then watch another episode of LOKI -Se 2- while I sit with my feet on Mr. Wilson – The mean, green, peeing machine – for 30 minutes so I can work on improving the circulation in my legs.

Now, because I know you’re going to ask – Mr Wilson is my Revitive machine. It’s a Circular Disk that you can put your feet on and it sends electric currents up through your legs ( which are at a 30 degree angle mind) in order to stimulate circulation and stop your legs and feet from swelling. I got it on the advice of my Physiotherapist who suggested it might help and so far, he’s right. It certainly hasn’t solved all of my problems – but it has helped. The only drawback is that the electric current tap dances like Fred Astaire across your bladder and *Surprise!* You need to Pee! Hence my name for it.

You know, I had started out with wanting to write this blog with my thoughts regarding how I found Disabled Access to places and to start a discussion on whether it’s reasonable to discuss your needs with a venue or not – But this blog kinda went in a different direction and that’s OK .

I hope by reading this blog, people will have some understanding of what my day is like.

The other blogs will be happening over the coming weeks

Thanks for reading

Ceej

The Cafe With No Cutlery.

This blog is a little late.

Have not long gotten home from doing the grocery shopping with Hubby and running a few errands down at Chirnside Park.

For those not familiar with Chirnside Park, it is one of many local shopping precincts near my house ( I live near 4 such places) and while its smaller and doesn’t boast as many shops as the others, it is the most disabled friendly by design and thus I get to zoom along in Eleanor Whillie and join in the fun.

Today I also purchased a new handbag ( one that’s easier to carry while going out and about) a new hat ( more about that in a moment ) and a quick pit stop at SpecSavers to get my glasses adjusted, cleaned properly and get a quote on some potential transition lenses or sunglasses.

Todays weather has been nothing short of spectacular and to be able to go out in it – despite the obstacles I currently face (and believe me, there’s a lot) makes me very happy.

However, I digress. Today’s outing is not the purpose of today’s blog. By now, I would wager, you’re probably wondering what the title of today’s blog has to do with my shopping extravaganza and the answer, dear reader, is nothing. Absolutely nothing.

It has everything to do with what I got up to yesterday!

( And if you’ve read you’ve read this far, then I congratulate you for sticking it out with me)

Yesterday I went here:

Park Orchards Market

Park Orchards Market is held the 3rd Sunday of every month 10am -2pm at the local Primary School

It was my first time at a local market and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed the atmosphere. It was also my first trip back to Park Orchids (it’s literally 15 minutes from my house) since 1995. Back then, it had one bus that travelled there every hour and it was one of those small *blink and you miss it* places that no one really paid any mind to – unless you had to go there.

In the 20 years since it has grown to be quite the affluent suburb where the locals know everyone ( and their business apparently .. but you didn’t hear that from me) and houses are worth in the vicinity of $1 million dollars + on any day ending in Y .

The people of Park Orchids seem to be quite the snobs .. what, with their fancy cars, designer dogs ( in lieu of designer children) and the suspected illicit affairs taking place right under your nose – just as you sit down for lunch. (Long story, I’m getting there, I promise)

That is, except the lovely folks at the Park Orchids monthly market. As I have already said, it was my first time at a Market like this and I was pleasantly surprised at what I saw there.

Through my NDIS plan, each fortnight I am granted Community Access with a support worker. I have an allocated 5 hours whereby I can go out and do some small activity independent from my Husband -who is also my full time carer – and give him a break from taking care of me. I can pretty much do as I wish – Go to the movies, do some shopping, visit a reserve, go out for lunch, visit a friend – any number of activities as long as it’s none to costly and can be completed within the allocated 5 hours

Yesterday’s choice was the Market. There were plenty of things to look at and peruse as well as live music from a local musician. Entry was free (bar a gold coin donation) and plenty to eat and drink .

Members of the CFA popped in ( For my American Readers – CFA stands for Country Fire Authority. They are a group of volunteers who are trained as Firefighters to assist during our Summer bushfire season) which kept the little ones entertained for hours!

Myself and my Support Worker “Miss B” spent a good few hours there . I went away with a lovely scented candle, some homemade Baklava and Turkish Delight and a jar of Christmas Pesto (your basic basil & pine nut mix combined with sweet chilli and cranberries – Bloody delicious!)

Pleased with my purchases, Miss B and I decided to go and find a local Cafe for lunch.

We found a small place just down the road and around the corner (Eleanor Whillie and I had an interesting time navigating the wee bumps, cracks and dips in the pavement) and although they had no disabled access to speak of – they were soon able to rustle up an extra table from inside and bring it outside.. which was nice of them.

We placed our order ( Two Chicken Schnitzel burgers) and waited. ….. And waited ….. And ..waited. Almost an hour after we placed our order our meals finally arrived. We thanked the waitress?? Owner?? I dunno .. and began to eat.. Only to discover we were not given any cutlery! Not a knife. Not a fork . Not a spoon. Nothing.

Thank God for fingers .. am I right?

So there we were eating our meager meal, with our fingers, in the well do to suburb of Park Orchards, surrounded by snotty nosed well-to-do’s with their designer doggo’s (OK, so the one we saw was cute AF and super friendly) all the while listening to ( not deliberately I might add) a guy who spoke a few too many decibels above fucking reasonable – discuss his vacation plans with his (future ex – I could just tell. Girl was bored and annoyed as hell) Girlfriend/ Wife/ Fling to Singapore over a cup of coffee.

While I won’t go into anymore detail – because frankly, it’s none of my business but ….Some things are best left discussed in private, you know what I mean? Not loudly at a Cafe with no cutlery ( did they even get a spoon, I wonder?) on a Saturday afternoon in a place where everyone gonna be knowing your business by the time you ask for the cheque.

Over all, it was a lovely afternoon and I am seriously thinking of going back. Everyone was super friendly there and I was so sorely tempted to buy one of everything!

If you’re ever in the area – do check them out.

Who knows what you’ll find

Ceej