Sunday – Bitz 'N' Blogs with CJ Cross

Respite . Day Two: Hublander – Part 2

****A/N*****

With the way this blog has turned out- We’re heading for a part 3. I will try and get the final section done ASAP . I Promise! ( Please note: All photos used are from my phone. Taken on the day by me- except the official Hublander ones)

So, where was I? Oh yes, the doors closed.

Now, before I begin to talk about the day, the panels, the episodes airing on the big screen, the never ending lines for photos and the marvel that is STEVE …I just wish to point out that it was 38 degrees in Melbourne that day. 38 DEGREES! ( or 100.4 F) and we were all shut in a giant tin shed with very little ventilation or air conditioning.

Not that any of us cared ( at that point) to be honest. .. The regrets later however … Hmmmmm.

I’d say that, for the VIP / Platinum members panel – there would’ve been roughly 100 people. ( There were 800 people in attendance on the day) and our first guests for the day were Sam and Duncan.

Sam Heughan and Duncan Lacroix kick off Hublander Melbourne 2024

It’s at this point I’d like to point out that all Hublander USBs of the event have been sent out and mostly received. I still haven’t watched all of mine yet so I am going mostly from memory. *Deep Breath* Wish me luck!

Duncan was severely sunburnt and suffering sunstroke after arriving in Sydney and having a run in with his first ( I believe) Australian Summer. Whilst I’ll admit, Bondi can be a great place to party for the beautiful people, you still can’t do it without taking precautions. In this case, ye olde SLIP! SLOP! SLAP!

For my American Friends, the SLIP! SLOP! SLAP! ad campaign was one of Australia’s most successful ad campaigns around the prevention of Skin Cancer. The message was simple – SLIP on a shirt, SLOP on some sunscreen and SLAP on a hat.

See the original video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7nocIenCYg

Suffice to say, when photos on Duncan’s IG showed him burnt to a crisp – we were very concerned for his welfare. We all hoped with the help of the Good Lord and a poke with a sharp stick – He’d be OK!

Thankfully, not only did he survive the Australian Sun but also made to both Sydney and Melbourne events in one, rather red, piece. For which we were all eternally grateful!

The Panel was great and lots of laughs were had! After they’d finished, the rest of the attendees were let in ( after standing outside in the sun for 874 years) and took their seats.

While people were taking their seats, the VIP / Platinum guests were off to have their first photo ops for the day. First up, Sam and Duncan:

I honestly thought I’d be nervous – Especially around Sam … But I wasn’t. At all. It’s been said that he has a calming presence and I have to admit he does. Very relaxed. Very open. Very warm and welcoming! In fact, Sam reminds me of my very dear friend, Richard.

Richard is around 6’7 with blonde hair and blue eyes. He’s a genuinely nice, decent guy and Sam is exactly the same! Sam was lovely during our photo op and even got down on his knees for me! ( at the request of the photographer who said “He can get down on his knees for you, if you like!” LOL) We made polite small talk and both agreed that knees are overrated after the age of 40!

Duncan was a sweetheart and was just as nice! As you can see by my photo I completely forgot the “No Hugs” rule ( which was put in place to protect the Cast after David Berry tested positive for Covid) and kinda went for the head on the shoulder move – which is kinda like a hug for me anyway 😛

Next up was Charles VanDerVaart and John Bell!

Panel 2: Charles VanderVaart and John Bell

These two were a hoot! An absolute scream! They’ve literally become BFF’s and the way JB gives Charles such a hard time is the funnest thing ever!

It was at this point, the boys were given Tee-shirts to draw portraits of each other on and auction off.

It turned out that one of members of THE HUB team was going through a particularly difficult time and so, the tee-shirts were a way to raise much needed funds to help this member and their family. While I can’t remember the exact total, the money raised over both Sydney and Melbourne events was quite substantial and was definitely going to a good cause.

As the day went on, there were opportunities for photos with more than one Cast member – just as long as you had the correct token to do so. They were playing clips from 7A on the big screen in between panels so you could watch along while you waited.

I made friends with another lass in a wheelchair and her BFF . They were great fun! They were also both Peakers and we hit it off instantly! I just wish I could remember their names! They both complimented me on my Outlander Stickers on the back of Eleanor Whillie – in particular the S.H.A.Gger sticker! ( I.Y.K.Y.K)

The lines for photos were ridiculous! ( Massive shout out to Rod and Sarah for doing a brilliant job of sorting that mayhem out on the day!) and the only way to cool off (remember when I said it was 38c?) was ONE SINGLE stand alone fan at the entrance to the photo op area!

I will be forever thankful that Miss C and I took our own food to the event. There were supposed to be Food Trucks on site however, after a series of unfortunate events, there was a single ‘Food Truck’ that ran out of food by the time lunch was called.**

Add to this, the toilet situation was an absolute disaster. The Timber Yard had a total of 10 unisex toilets and 1 disabled toilet for the whole venue. Aside myself, there were at least 10 others who were in wheelchairs and several more who had walking canes or walkers. Trying to get to the toilet for anyone was a nightmare!

I tried twice to go to the toilet throughout the day. The first time saw me bump into Charles VanDerVaart who was on the way out of a unisex loo as I was trying to get to the disabled toilet on the other side. Apparently, someone has a photo of me chatting to Charles outside the toilets. I know this because they told me so. They also asked me if I wanted the photo. I recall saying yes.. but it never happened. Oh well. Nevermind.

I lucked out the first time – because it was in use. By the time I attempted to empty my bladder the second time – 6 of the unisex toilets were out of action and the disabled toilet was blocked and backed up!

Now, if you know me.. You know that I have an incredibly weak bladder ( TMI I know) and so, holding on for an entire day was agony. But, I managed… though not without complaint.

(There are some however, who were not present on the day, who will tell you that Sam Heughan has magical powers and by His sheer will alone- made it so I had a bladder of cast iron. That somehow I decided to ” Let it be known that ye verily I did forfeit my right to pee – less I miss a nanosecond of being in Sam Heughan’s company!” I assure you, dear reader that Sam Heughan DOES NOT have magical powers… nor is my bladder made of cast iron! The Women in my family possess no such thing!)

By this stage, complaints were coming in thick and fast about the lack of amenities, places to sit down, places to cool down and places to get food. Menu Log and Uber Eats made a small fortune from us that day, I can tell you that! Even the Cast had to order in as it looked like no arrangements made for them to have lunch provided for them – which is utterly appalling if you ask me!

Suffice to say there were 800 very annoyed people. Even those of us who bought our own food and drink found it impossible to sit somewhere and eat. With everything moving so quickly there was just not enough time to do so!

Anyway, here are my photos with John Bell and Charles VanDerVaart

Myself and John Bell at Hublander 2024! He autographed my photo with him. Lovely chap!

Charles VanDerVaart and I at Hublander 2024

With the absence of David Berry (who very graciously signed photos to be given to VIP / Platinum ticket holders at the event) Duncan Lacroix did his panel solo. He regaled with stories of working on Outlander and other projects and answered questions from the audience. Unfortunately, his panel suffered technical difficulties – most likely due to the heat – so a large majority of it was unusable ( which is why only the Sydney panel that he did is on the USB)

“Everyone Needs a Murtagh” – Duncan Lacroix at Hublander 2024

He also gave us a designer tee-shirt and donated it to charity. Which was a lot of fun to watch.

It was during his panel that we found out Duncan was deaf in one ear and so everyone had to speak slowly and clearly. He handled it like a champion and his panel was enjoyed by all!

After a short break it was time for the man of the hour – Himself, Sam Heughan!

Sam was accompanied by his handler, Steve. Steve took over MC duties at this point and made sure Sam was asked either funny, interesting or intelligent questions. (If Steve didn’t like the question he threw it away! LOL!)

Sam answering a fan question during his solo panel at Hublander 2024

Sam talked about Outlander, his book Waypoints, His Whisky, His Gin, MPC and other projects and things that he’s working on – especially after Outlander ends after season 8.

Steve was hilarious throughout – offering his take on various stories and what working with Sam was like. Despite what you may think, Steve is a wonderful guy and very funny. I understand now why Sam always wants to work with him.

The highlight of Sams panel though, was when he got a lass on stage to sing the Skye boat song and called David Berry on his phone so we could all say hello and send him well wishes!

After Sam’s Panel ended it was time for the autographs.. However, that will need to wait until the next installment of this blog!

As always, thanks for reading

Ceej

**Correction: There were 2 food trucks on site. There was meant to be a 3rd but it was involved in an accident and couldn’t make it.

Respite Day 2. HUBLANDER 2024 – Part 1.

***A/N This part of my blog is HUGE so I have decided to split it in to two parts. Part one will be posted today – Part 2 will be posted later on in the week. **

Our day began with both of our alarms going off at the ungodly hour of 5am . After a rather restless night of sleep due to the noisy aircon ( It was also permanently set on “Antarctica” mode it was that bloody cold!) and the random noises of other guests at 3am .. we ( My Support Worker Miss C and I) were up and began preparing for the day.

As a Platinum ticket holder, we had to be there early. ( And by early I mean 7.30am) as the VIP Platinum panel was to kick off at 8am sharp.

So, after we showered, dressed, packed our lunches, bottles of water and ate breakfast – we bundled Eleanor Whillie into the back of the car and set off to Port Melbourne to a venue called The Timber Yard for a day of fun, friends and fangirling (Well, I did. Miss C was like my cool offsider in her John Lennon-esk type sunglasses)

The Timber Yard is located in Port Melbourne – just 15 minutes from Melbourne CBD. It’s easily accessible by car and tram ( although that means an extra 5 minute walk from the tram stop) and, ironically, about a block away from a Restaurant called ‘Claire’s Castle’ ( which considering what was happening there on the day – I found hilariously funny!)

If you wish to check out The Timber Yard, you can do so here: https://thetimberyard.com.au/

We arrived at 7.20am. which meant there was still ample parking to be had. That said, the line for entry into the event was already snaking its way down the block and around the corner by the time we’d made our way to the entrance and joined the others in line.

It’s at this point dear Reader, that I’d like to point out that that the day before there had been another Convention – Hublander Sydney 2024.

That event spanned 2 days being the Friday night and the Saturday and when I tell you there were some bleary eyed travellers amongst the die hard fans there at the Timber Yard on Sunday morning, you’d be hard pressed to believe otherwise. Thankfully, the takeaway coffee was on hand and piping hot .. making all those red -eye travelers thankful for the pick-me-up.

Whilst waiting in line I met up with my friends Ziggy, Jo and Vanessa. Jo had bought everyone “Hublander Mugs” as a gift for all of us which was lovely. I also met Sandra and Leslie -Fellow fans and MPC Peakers. We’d been talking online for a long time so it was lovely to finally meet them in person.

And, just because this is my Blog and I can – Here is a picture of the Hublander Mug from Jo 😀

Anyway….

Not only did Jo bring us all Hublander Mugs to celebrate Australia’s first ever official Outlander convention, she also blessed us with her PURPLE SLIPPERS! (IYKYK and if you don’t … Well, I’m sorry … That’s classified LOL ) .. but more about those later on!

Ziggy decided to rock a rainbow kilt for the occasion and she looked amazing. She also bought a special gift for me to give to Sam – which I was most excited about. Her Brother made it especially for me and well may I say it looked a million quid!

(Shout Out to Leatherman Jack on You Tube! He makes wonderful handcrafted leather goods. Check out his channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@LeathermanJack )

She had attended the Sydney event along with the others but despite being desperately tired, she was just as excited as I was.. not only because we’d be spending the day together but because it was the first time we’d seen each other in person since 2013 – when we both attended the Doug Anthony All Star reunion at the Melbourne Town Hall as part of that years Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

My outfit for the day was coordinated to match Eleanor’s colour scheme – A black shirt with light pink pants. Eleanor is black with pink side panels in the arms. So we matched perfectly!

As the line to enter the venue slowly began to move, I found myself under a tree .. and no sooner had I stopped there I was shat on by a bird!

Most people consider this a sign of good luck. In the Outlander fandom however, it is common knowledge that everywhere Sam Heughan goes – he is almost always shat on by a bird!

For those that know me ( and my history in this fandom) the fact that I was shat on by a bird, just moments before I was due to meet the Man in person – was no great surprise to anyone. That said, just about everyone rushed to clean me up which was hilarious and, after some Motherly magic ( You know who you are :P) any evidence that I’d been shat on by a bird had all but disappeared.

The panels were running late – Due to technical issues, the Cast running late and a mad dash to reorganise David Berry’s no show at the event as he had unfortunately come down with Covid, just prior to the Sydney event and could not attend the Sydney Hublander – let alone travel to Melbourne for his appearance at the Timber Yard – but the Platinum ticket holders and VIP’s were finally allowed to enter the building somewhere around 8.30am. Myself, Jo and my Support Worker Miss C had tickets down the very front in row A.

It’s fair to say that when you attend a convention, you’re bound to bump into all sorts of people. So, imagine my surprise when who should I see running the doors and keeping everything in an orderly, spit-spot and Bristol fashion – but my friends Rod and Sarah! I hadn’t seen them in years – Since we were part of a Pop Culture mash up show for the 2013 Melbourne International Comedy Festival / 2014 Melbourne Fringe Festival ( I am sensing a theme here somehow) It was in that moment I knew I was going to be OK. The convention was my first big “dose of peopling ” since before the Pandemic and truth be told – I wasn’t sure how well the day was going to pan out. Seeing Rod and Sarah gave me a sense of assurance and given there was about 800+ people in attendance on the day .. I was grateful for them being there.

We went inside and found our seats easy enough. The first panel was Sam and Duncan. That was the special VIP / Platinum panel for the day.

The panel was due to go for about an hour. With the first 5 minutes allowing the audience to take photos of the guests on the stage.

The MC was a lovely lady ( whose name escapes me at the moment) and she gave us a run down of the day and what to expect.

As the doors closed and the panel started .. I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.

Thanks for reading,

Ceej

Let’s Talk About Cats

For most of my adult life, I’ve had Cats. The first kitten I ever owned was a black and white domestic short hair called Thomas .

When my Husband A and I had been dating around 2 years, (so, around the year 1999) he moved into my Father’s house ( and immediately into the spare bedroom) with my Father and I. He had just gotten himself an new job and, no yet having a car or a licence, it was decided that he would move in with us and thus cut the travel time in half getting to and from work.

Shortly thereafter, it was decided that we wanted a Cat. Naturally, my Father was against the idea but .. after much badgering ( erm, I mean asking nicely) we drove to a place giving away kittens for free and found Thomas.

Now, as much as I want to say that Thomas lived a long and healthy life as my furbaby.. I’m afraid that would be a lie .. For you see, Thomas became my Father’s best friend and for next 17 odd years, they were inseparable and it really was a lovely thing to watch and , if I’m honest, I think my Dad still misses him to this day.

In 2001, when A and I moved out and into a place of our own we weren’t planning on getting any pets. We’d just moved into a cheap rental and really didn’t want the responsibility of owning a pet.

That is, until the day we walked past Pets Paradise* in Forest Hill Chase and saw this beautiful little black and white kitten with a pink nose, push his paws against the glass and meow at us. It melted my heart and about a week later A got that little kitten for me as a surprise after work.

We named him Timozel -named after a character in the series of books we were reading at the time – The AXIS trilogy .

(His full name being Timozel Alexander P… for Puss Cat.. but moving on. )

We had him for 7 years. Over that 7 year period, Timozel became Timmy. Timmy became Timmy Puss and Timmy Puss became simply Puss-Wuss. Puss Wuss was largely an outdoor cat – but never went any further than our neighbours garden over the fence. In particular, her flower bed. From there he would while away the hours with his favourite pastime – watching her clean her house through the window.

Our neighbour enjoyed his company immensely and they became friends until our neighbour moved away to live closer to her Daughter.

A few years into the 7 years of Puss-Wuss – our little guy let us know he was lonely and really wanted a friend to play with ( Shut up! Cats can do that, you know) and so the hunt was on. We searched for weeks and weeks and weeks but to no avail.

Then, one Thursday night after work, we wandered into Pets Paradise in Eastland and decided to have a look at what was on offer. I had decided to choose from the little domestic shorthair kittens on display at the front of the store. I had almost made up my mind when my Husband called to me and said, “Hey Darl, come and have a look at this funny looking thing!”

So I did.

And there, up the back of the store, slightly off to one side, in a glass case were two very odd looking kittens. A white one and a black one. They were small, had oval shaped faces and their fur was short and curly. I almost turned away but then the little black one looked at me – His big moon eyes staring into my soul.. and in that moment my life changed forever.

“Do you want to hold him?” the store attendant asked as she opened the glass case

“Yes Please!” I said and as she handed me this little black Selkirk Rex kitten covered in his own poop – I knew he was mine. He started to purr and fell dead asleep in my arms. “You are coming home with me!” I stated matter of factly.

And he did.

Initially, I named him Snuffy after Mr Snuffleupagus on Sesame St because he waddled when he walked due to a broken tail. ( They told us he was the runt of the litter and the others walked all over him) but Snuffy ( Snuffington Cornelius Xavier III) made way for Mr Snuffles- when exactly, I can’t remember- and that was that.

It took a few months but it wasn’t long before Puss-Wuss and Mr Snuffles became best mates and did almost everything together. Played together, went outside together, slept together and more often than not, got into trouble together as well.

Dinner time became the “Me Me ” and “I want” show ( You had to be there) and it wasn’t long before we had a wonderful little family unit.

When Mr Snuffles was 5, Puss-Wuss became unwell with a blockage that made him unable to urinate. We took our little guy to the local 24 hour Vets and the only solution they gave us was to put our little man to sleep. They refused to do surgery unless we could pay $1300 there and then on the spot and even though we said we’d have the money – they just needed to give us till we got paid, they said no … and so.. We had to say goodbye.

The 5 years that followed, Mr Snuffles was largely on his own. Oh, how we spoiled him. With treats and toys. With cuddles and snacks. With adoration, love and affection. All day. Every day. Did Mr Snuffles miss Puss-Wuss? Of course he did! In the days that followed his passing, Mr Snuffles would sit at the back door and wait for Puss-Wuss to come inside. But ultimately, once he realised Puss-Wuss wasn’t coming back he kinda just got on with things and, in a way, so did we.

Facebook has been a thing in my life since 2007. From throwing farm animals at your friends – to never ending poking wars – Facebook has been at the forefront of just about everything there is . Facebook is how I found Miss Floof.

In 2016 I was browsing Selkirk Rex rescue pages on Facebook and I came across an ad for a female Selkirk Rex Tabby – 1 year of age and looking for a forever home. I immediately put my hand up to take her. She looked absolutely beautiful and her description said that she was well natured, gentle and loved to play.

The arrangements were made via FaceBook DM’s and about a week later, Miss Floof or “Casserole” as she was known at the time, was a welcome addition to our home.

Casserole took to our place like a duck to water and immediately began to act like she owned the place. Mr Snuffles was none too impressed to say the least and BOY did he let us know it!

The name “Miss Floof” wasn’t supposed to happen. We had decided to name her Isobelle ( Isobelle Prudence Guinevere to be precise) and despite weeks of trying, she just wasn’t responding to it. We tried “Miss” and “Little Miss” with limited degrees of success “Belle” fell on deaf ears entirely.

One day Casserole was wanting smooches and jumped up on the back of the couch to greet us. Her fur was mental and sticking up everywhere like she’d just has a run in with a fork in a power socket “Floof Nugget!” I exclaimed, thinking nothing of it ” How are you?”

Well, her tail went up and her ears did the same. She has ( finally) chosen her name and thus Miss Floof was and still is.

In the 6 years that followed, the relationship between Mr Snuffles and Miss Floof wasn’t exactly what you’d call easy going.

Many a times they’d play and chase each other around the house only to suddenly fight and get cross with each other. Mr Snuffles earned the name “Captain Clean Air” because whenever she got too close to him – he’d make like she was polluting his personal space.

Ultimately though, they figured it out and had the kind of relationship where they tolerated each other.. well, Mr Snuffles tolerated her anyway. Which was better than not at all.

Mr Snuffles passed away in November 2022 a few weeks shy of his 16th Birthday.

When he passed away, it left A and I bereft with grief. Our whole world shattered and fell apart because our little baby boy was gone. We loved him more than words. More than anything in the whole world.. and to move on without him seemed impossible.

The morning after Mr Snuffles passed I sat in my office and cried. I cried until I screamed. Then I screamed myself hoarse until I couldn’t anymore … and then I cried again until I had no tears left. **

To the credit of Miss Floof, she was right there for us being cute and fluffy and trying to make A and I laugh through our grief and sorrow. It was during this time the decision was made – No More Cats.

It hurt to much. Once it was time for Miss Floof to join her brother over the rainbow bridge – that was it. No more Cats. No more pets of any sort. It was to painful. Besides, pet food cost a fortune. We can hardly afford to feed one cat – let alone two! We’re a one Cat household! Miss Floof will be better off with just us!

Somehow, we managed to justify all that and more to ourselves and over the next 12 months we focused on making a family with just the three of us. It was odd and awkward at first as A and I missed Mr Snuffles terribly ( And I believe Miss Floof did as well in her own way) so, there was a very long adjustment period while we all got used to this new dynamic.

No More Cats Indeed!

Which brings me to the now and the reason I wanted to write this blog.

There comes a point where you have to not only admit – but accept – that you are better off with two cats in your life than just one. Not because you don’t love the one cat any less … It’s just… Two cats seem to complete you. Two cats make you feel safe. Two cats are just that ..Two cats.

You can’t describe why you feel better with two cats in your life … You just do. It works and somehow, you know, that everything will be OK.

We recently adopted an 8 year old long haired domestic Cat named Jet. We found him via Urban Feline Australia ( Shout out to Daniel from UFA for all your help) and immediately took to him. We were told he’d had a rough life – going from pillar to post, from adoption to adoption ( the last one dumping him at a Vets door all matted and messed up after deciding they didn’t want him.) and so, we discussed it and decided to take him in.

His full name is Jetson Oliver Periwinkle. He seems to answer to either Mr Jet, Jetson, Mr J, Little Man or Buddy but has yet to let us know he’s preferred name of choice. He’s such a chill little guy and in the four days since we’ve bought him home he’s settled in quite well.

Miss Floof is put out, obviously but… She’s slowly starting to come around and realise he’s no threat.

It’s early days but I must say things are progressing nicely. We are convinced our two kittens will soon become friends … or at the very least tolerate each other without the hissing.

At this point we’ll take either

Keep you updated as things progress

Ceej

*Pets Paradise was a pet store chain back in the late 90’s early 00’s . They were all closed down after struggling financially and went into receivership

** Even though it broke me to pieces, A was with Mr Snuffles when he was put to sleep.

How Can You Write – When You Don’t Read?

Is a question I get asked alot.

“You can’t be a writer – because you don’t read!” claim the avid book readers in my life. To them, because I’ve not a book in my hand at all times, I am considered a heathen. I am wrong. In order to fully understand my love of the written word, first I must devour every book ever written – regardless whether I like the genre or not. Because then and only then.. will I be able to write well enough to be taken seriously.

When I was a child, I loved writing poetry. I would spend hours and hours and hours writing poems about all manner of subjects. The fact I was 11, my favourite babysitter, the way my room looked. It didn’t matter. As long as I could write about it – it was worth it. Nobody taught me how to write poetry ..I just figured it out. Poetry is like song lyrics without music. As long as it rhymed and had a beat to it – I was proud of it.

I kept all of my poems in a purple plastic A4 folder. It had stars on it. Whenever we had guests, my Mother would ask me to bring it out and she would show everyone my silly little poems. (At the time I was embarrassed but, looking back on it – I can only assume she was proud of me as well)

Pretty soon poetry made way for story telling. My favourite time in school was when the class was asked to write a story (on anything they wanted) While most kids managed about 2 pages each – I would walk into class with 20+ pages, still incomplete, hoping that we’d be given time to work on it some more because I still had more chapters to go.

In fact, I wrote so much that my teachers said ” Can you shorten it a bit? I just won’t have time to read all that!”

When I started High School, English was my favourite subject and I always got fairly good grades. (Even managing an A one year – which to this day remains one of two A’s I have ever managed to receive throughout the entirety of my 12 years Public School education. The first being in 4th grade for a project on France and the second being of course, the A for completing year 10 English with flying colours – God bless you, Mr Walter .. wherever you are. I hope you and your glorious teaching hat are well!*)

That is, until my senior year, Year 12.

In my final year of highschool, any confidence I had with my ability to write was shot to pieces by my year 12 English Teacher. Mrs *B* { name redacted} was an old overweight woman with fat ankles who made wheezing noises when she walked. She also drank tea. A hell of a lot of tea. Whenever we had a doubles class – she would slurp away while we worked on whatever it was she’d prepared for us that lesson. The truth of it was though, no one liked her. So much so, that many of us, including myself, would get up and walk out of her classes and wander across to the school canteen to grab a bite to eat. She would complain that we were never attentive in class – we would complain that she never taught us anything so what was the point. By the second half of the school year however, all of our shenanigans came to a halt when the school principal told us to pull our heads in and knock it off – after it got back to him that Mrs B had been heard shrieking “If you don’t want to learn – You can get out and play in the trees!” Before locking half the class out of the room for the rest of the lesson which, as you can imagine, raised an eyebrow or two indeed.

From that point on, regardless of what I wrote – it wasn’t good enough. Mrs B found every excuse under the sun to belittle and humiliate me. ”What is this?” she’d say ” It’s rubbish!” or “Why can’t you write like *Insert authors name here* or, my favorite “* Person in class* can write better than you”

I can only imagine I wasn’t the only person she heaped shit on- but her criticism of the only thing I knew I was good at .. Cut me to the quick and I vowed to never write anything ever again.

In the *counts* almost 30 years ( Ye gads I’m old!) since I finished High School, I’ve dabbled here and there . Written other blogs on and off. The odd bit of fan fiction. Pieces for online publications and the like but never been able to fully commit to writing full time.

What would I write about? I haven’t a clue!

Would anyone read it? Probably not. ( But does it matter?)

Will I have to read a million books .. before anyone would bother with anything I put to paper?

The answer?

No. Because I don’t NEED to read anything to be able to write. Do those who read books need to be able to write an essay on the subject matter before they can read a word? No. No they do not. Why? Because it’s not required.

The answer to “How can I write – when I don’t read” is simple. I have a creative imagination. The only mistake I’ve made is allowing people to stomp on my creative ability and believing them when they’ve said ” In order to do this .. .You have to do that” and ” You can’t do this because it’s stupid!” Because I can! The thing with creativity is .. .There is no order by which you do things … because you just do it. It happens naturally. And that’s it. Creativity comes from within. It’s not taught in school ( although, if you find the right teacher- it can be polished till it shines – Thank you, again, Mr Walter!) and there’s no instruction booklet or how to guide.

Whether you write, paint, draw, play music, knit, sew, make things or sing.. It all comes from the heart first.

The sooner people figure that out - the better.

I love writing.

That is all

Ceej

*My year 10 English teacher had a white, wide brimmed hat. He would wear it whenever we ‘misbehaved’ or got to rowdy. He would silently put it on and wait. We would all just look at him and then he would lecture us on acting like two- year-olds. Truth be told he looked silly in that hat. But honestly, he was the coolest teacher ever and to this day remains one of my favorites. Thank you for believing in me Sir. It meant a lot.

** While the cover photo for this blog has nothing to do with the subject matter -They’re books I’ve actually read. 😛

In The (My) Interest of Being Disabled.

(Authors Note: Though I am a 46 year old Disabled person- I am not expert on anything. I do not have a degree or fancy letters next to my name. I simply aim to look at my situation (specifically) with the humor intended.

That said, not one Disabled person is the same. We are all different and each one of us has needs that must be met and it sucks balls that in the year 2023 (almost 2024) we’re all still here fighting for our right to be seen and heard. To be given basic access to day to day life. I hope one day that changes. I truly do. But for now I hope you’ll enjoy this blog and laugh along with me)

This morning I woke up. Like every morning I hurt all over. My hurt seemed to be amplified . Radiating like some kind of modern day pain beacon. Come to think of it – if my pain becon made a noise – it would probably be ” Ow! Ow! Fuck! Ow! Ow! Fuck” but I digress …

After grabbing hold of Penelope for support ( And before you lot get some idea – please get your mind out of the gutter! There is no Horizontal Blanky Dance afoot in my abode! Not for lack of wanting to mind! It’s simply due to the fact that my body is no longer able to perform accordingly *ahem* due to things hurting way to much) Penelope is my trusty bed pole that I use to help me turn over onto my side while in bed and, to help me sit up and get the legs out and the feet on to the floor in the mornings.

Next, I grab Bert and Ernie . Burt and Ernie ( called so because they’re always together) my trusty el cheapo ‘got em from the Chemist’ crutches that I’ve had since Moby Dick was a tadpole ( My Father’s expression – Not mine. Although, Moby Dick was written in 1851.. which was inspired by a whale who died in 1838 -Which presumably was a Beluga Whale, which according to Google can live upto 50 years … means that technically speaking- and it’s one HECK of a stretch- Moby dick was legitimately a tadpole in the year 1788)

Anyway…

I use Burt and Ernie to help me go to the toilet. Depending on how difficult things are, Hubby may need to help me. I find that I am at my stiffest in the morning – So does my Husband funnily enough ( No… Not like that! Do we remember what I said about gutters?) and the two of us struggle to get me sorted before things get to the point of no return.

As a rule Bert and Ernie are my main mobility aids to help me get around the house. I have Henry Rollins in reserve ( another pair of rather expensive, sleek, black , slimline, lightweight crutches) – but they’re no good when I need to open a door or turn a light switch on and off – as they have no cuff around the arm for support.

I also have a sparkly blue walking stick that I’ve named ‘ The Doctor’ but I’ve not been able to use him for quite a few years. Now that i think about it – I’ve not used him since the very beginning of 2020. I hope to be able to use him again one day. He was always fun. He took over after Edna ( my pink walking stick) was retired after many years of use.

(There’s also ‘Bernard- Brown McBlack’ my four pronged walking aid – but we never really gelled or got on so he just kinda sits in a corner gathering dust.)

Thankfully I am not going anywhere today – but when I do I either take my red manual Wheelchair ( Bernard Barge-Ass) or Eleanor Wheelie

One of the things I have noticed since becoming reliant on mobility aids ( and people) for support is the way society tends to treat you. You’re either invisible (not seen) talked at or over ( not heard) and it infuriates me when people assume I’m stupid because I’m sitting in a wheelchair. ( I plan to write a whole other blog on that subject soon. You have been warned)

Whenever I do go out – I’m either with my Support Worker ( who can fit me, my Wheelchair and crutches in their car) or I require a Maxi Taxi ( shout out to Roy at 13cabs) to go somewhere. I am also the proud owner of a Taxi Card and a Companion Card – which makes travelling a hell of a lot easier.

Currently, it’s 11:33am . Hubby has gone out to do the weekly grocery shop (I’ve tagged along a few times in Eleanor. So far I’ve not crashed into anything LOL) When he gets home he’ll make us both lunch. After which he’ll have to help me shower.

Relax folks! It’s not as kinky as you think. ( Hello? Gutter HAHA) I know that when we Married we spoke our vows ” In sickness and in health” ” For better or worse” Yadda Yadda Yadda – but no where in there did it state that “When your Wife gets to her mid 40s she’ll be permanently disabled and you’ll be stuck washing her Foo-Foo McGoo for all eternity!” and honestly, the Man needs some kind of reward for doing it. (THE FOO-FOO- McGOO Award? Anyone?)

Not many Men would wash their wives Foo-Foo-McGoo I’d wager. He is a wonderful help to me, (despite his constant complaints to Management that his role in things was to remove me of my clothes …Anyway, never mind! The way we do our laundry is none your business! LOL!) so in that respect, I’m very lucky.

Thankfully, thanks to my new NDIS plan, which comes into effect in January next year – I’ll have Support Workers in to take over helping me shower – so that’ll be one less thing he’ll have to do – which will hopefully mean we’ll no longer have to get up at 4am every day and get some extra sleep!

We’ve got a quiet day planned ( at least in theory anyway Most of the time my Husband is running around like a blue arsed fly getting all the things done.) Tonight we’ll have dinner, then watch another episode of LOKI -Se 2- while I sit with my feet on Mr. Wilson – The mean, green, peeing machine – for 30 minutes so I can work on improving the circulation in my legs.

Now, because I know you’re going to ask – Mr Wilson is my Revitive machine. It’s a Circular Disk that you can put your feet on and it sends electric currents up through your legs ( which are at a 30 degree angle mind) in order to stimulate circulation and stop your legs and feet from swelling. I got it on the advice of my Physiotherapist who suggested it might help and so far, he’s right. It certainly hasn’t solved all of my problems – but it has helped. The only drawback is that the electric current tap dances like Fred Astaire across your bladder and *Surprise!* You need to Pee! Hence my name for it.

You know, I had started out with wanting to write this blog with my thoughts regarding how I found Disabled Access to places and to start a discussion on whether it’s reasonable to discuss your needs with a venue or not – But this blog kinda went in a different direction and that’s OK .

I hope by reading this blog, people will have some understanding of what my day is like.

The other blogs will be happening over the coming weeks

Thanks for reading

Ceej

Holiday Wrap Up

Sunday.

10:31am. It’s the last day of our Holidays and I’m eating salted caramel crackers and chocolate mousse dip.

It’s lovely outside. I should be outside getting a decent dose of Vitamin D .. Instead, I am inside at my desk and writing this blog ( interspersed with watching Tik Tok videos of the recently reformed BackStreet Boys – and honestly,it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen – and didn’t know I needed) They’re old – and they admit it with no shame whatsoever. And, TBH I respect that.

We got a lot done over the last two weeks. All the things that we kept putting off due to work and other commitments that are part of our daily routine. However, all but a few of those things have now been ticked off the to do list. Which I am very happy about.

We celebrated our 17th Wedding anniversary over the break. A low key quiet affair. Hubby purchased a new guitar and I got a fancy new foot massager . Both of us have been using it and it’s done wonders for our feet!

I spent a large chunk of my holidays chasing up NDIS stuff – in particular my Day Chair and Eleanor Wheelie ( my new electric wheelchair) as well as getting everything prepared for my S100 review. At time of writing this blog – the quote for the Electric Chair has been put forward, the quote for the Day Chair has been received but not submitted ( yet) and all documents required for my S100 review have been filed and prepared for submission.

Side note: I was able to get my shoes from Dr Comfort. However, they don’t fit *grrr* so I am wanting to see what I can do about that. Stay tuned for updates on that.

I have no doubt whatsoever that upon my return to work – It’ll be spent chasing up aforementioned things to ensure they are taken care of ( Will it ever end?)

Speaking of Return to work – another thing I was able to complete was my extension of Work from Home. So, there’s that done and dusted.

This two weeks off was for the sole purpose of getting all the loose ends tied up and I am glad we were able to do that. No, we didn’t go anywhere ( minus that one day where we went out to breakfast) and we didn’t do anything FUN per say however, what we did do needed to be done and now we no longer have to worry about it .

For now though I am going to enjoy the rest of my day

Cheers for reading

Ceej

When Sunday is Father’s Day!

Good morning, everyone

There will be no blog today – due to the fact it is Father’s Day here in Australia

Go spend time with your Dad! He’s worth it!

For those who are missing their Father – please know that I understand how difficult today must be for you and you’re all in my thoughts.

Ceej